Take This Marriage Assessment
Before you start marriage counseling with me, you will be asked to take this assessment. I’ve created it myself based on my experience with marriage’s challenges, opportunities, and needs. I keep the answers confidential to encourage honesty.
It obviously can’t cover everything, but it gives me a good snapshot of the state of your marriage. It also shows much each person’s feelings are the same or different.
Each question stands on its own, so answer each one independently.
1. What is the biggest problem in your relationship? (Forces you to focus on the most important thing to you.)
2. What would solve the biggest problem in your relationship? (Allows for creativity and release of suppressed emotion.)
3. Please rate your friendship together. (A basic building block of marriage.)
- Excellent
- Good
- Fair
- Poor
4. What do you admire about your partner? (What’s keeping you together? How much do you like each other?)
5. What would you change about your partner? (What you hope for that you may not have said.)
6. How safe do you feel expressing yourself to your partner? (Safety is a requirement for emotional intimacy.)
- Always
- Usually
- Sometimes
- Rarely
7. Please rate the affection you receive from your partner. (An indication of physical intimacy.)
- Excellent
- Good
- Fair
- Poor
8. How well does your partner know you? (Are you seen and heard?)
- Very well
- Somewhat well
- Not very well
9. How well does your partner understand you? (Does your partner “get” you?)
- Very well
- Somewhat well
- Not very well
10. How accepted do you feel for who you are? (Do you receive validation and empathy?)
- Very accepted
- Somewhat accepted
- Not very accepted
11. How satisfying is your sex life? (A key barometer for the state of your marriage.)
- Very satisfying
- Somewhat satisfying
- Not very satisfying
12. How well are you able to resolve your differences? (Are you having healthy conversations about difficult topics?)
- Very well
- Somewhat well
- Not very well
13. Are drugs or alcohol a problem in your relationship? If so, please explain. (A heads up for me about what needs to be addressed.)
14. Has there been any physical, sexual, emotional, or psychological abuse in your relationship? If so, please explain. (An indication of a more severe situation that I need to know about up front.)
15. Have either of you threatened divorce or breakup? (How hurtful you’ve been to each other.)
- No
- I have
- He/She has
- We both have
16. How often does your partner have your back? (How strong is your partnership?)
- Always
- Usually
- Sometimes
- Rarely
17. How equal is your partnership? (Who is doing most of the work?)
- It’s about equal
- I do more
- He/she does more
18. Has your partner lied to you or deceived you? (How much trust is there?)
- Many times
- Sometimes
- Not at all
19. How well does your partner handle money? (Money is a common cause of divorce.)
- Very well
- Somewhat well
- Not very well
20. How appreciated do you feel by your partner? (Why are you working so hard?)
- Very appreciated
- Somewhat appreciated
- Not very appreciated
21. How much does your partner value your opinion? (How much are you respected?)
- Always
- Usually
- Sometimes
- Rarely
There is no numerical scoring or objective measurement. It’s more like a map of where we need to go overall and where we need to go first.
Take a look at all of your answers as a whole. How does it make you feel? What do you think you need to do?
I’m here to help so please call me for a free consultation.