A family is a very complicated system. The relationships and subsystems are always changing and evolving. One of the fundamental truths of a family is that what affects one, affects everyone.
Every family has a unique balance that it seeks. That balance can be either healthy or unhealthy. When that balance is disrupted, the family energy is directed back toward its original balance.
This is important because a dysfunctional family must be disrupted to become healthy. And that disruption must become permanent by fighting the forces that try to bring it back to dysfunction.
There often seems to be one problem person. And the belief is that if this person could be fixed, the family would be better. This would be a mistake. Every person in the family contributes to the problem in some way. Finding out how is a step in the right direction.
The following are elements of a healthy family:
- Parents who put their marriage first
- Healthy boundaries
- Respectful speech and action
- Mutual admiration
- Consistent parenting
- Individual freedom
- Shared appreciation
- Unconditional support
- Freedom to disagree
- A common set of values
- Healthy attachments
Unhealthy patterns and habits must be replaced with their healthy counterparts. Every family member has his or her share of responsibility to make the family better.
I act as a facilitator to, among other things, uncover unequal power dynamics, make sure every person has a voice and is heard, and liberate emotional expression. I will act to foster and reinforce the elements of a healthy family.
The goal is to make the family greater than the sum of its parts. That means everyone will be proud to say they are a member of your family.